Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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