I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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