Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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