you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
FUCK WHALES
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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