I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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