just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
