You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
