If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
