It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My liver just had a heart attack.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
