I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
