i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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