the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
