after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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