in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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