Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
