absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
