the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!