I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
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she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?