He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!