tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.