Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection