How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
