Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
