Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize