I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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