Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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