No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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