Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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