yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
