I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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