I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
