You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize