You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
