I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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