I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You can't motorboat a personality
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
