I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
