STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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