Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
