I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
