I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
