I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
