They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
