does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
