id be glad to
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
