Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
