tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
