dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
