the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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