No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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