How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
