Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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