apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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