He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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