remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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