I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
