and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
how drunk are you?
Several
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize