Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
