But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
