He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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