how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
