coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im holly from the hills drunk
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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