now i know why i became what i already was.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
